Jason Koopman, Journalist
An inhabitant of suburban America, Jason Koopman is a 7 time Finger Jousting World Champion. An expert in hand to hand combat, he is boldly humble, carelessly diligent, unskillfully adroit, and punctually late (this list is infinite, but it stops here.) Jason is a lover of all things good and disapproves of that which is bad. A true believer in humanity, Jason Koopman knows what he wants out of life.
