For some real life lessons read the Four Agreements


Kyra Falk

If you decide to read this book, don’t do it before bed or any other time you don’t want to overthink. I promise this book will stress you out (but in a good way).

In the last few weeks, I have started reading The Four Agreements and it’s been so good, I want to share my thoughts with you. 

Everyone lives by agreements that they make with themselves that help them with how they feel, what they do, and the decisions that they make. This book is talking about the four agreements that everyone should make with themselves throughout their lives. 

At the beginning of the book, it summarizes what The Four Agreements mean in your life and how following them will change your entire perspective of life and how you live your life. Another good aspect it talks about is how we accept the love we believe that we deserve, which in other words means that we would rather be loved and hurt than alone and sad. Self-abuse is the main focus of how we as individuals find love. 

We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves.”

— Quote from the book

We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves.

The first agreement you make with yourself is, to be impeccable with your word.

How they described this was “Depending upon how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you even more than you know.” They compare your word to magic and if it is misused it is like black magic. While comparing your work to magic, when stuck with black magic they say that only the truth will set you free. 

After reading about this first agreement it got me thinking about how I can relate it to my life. Being impeccable with your word helps you to make new friends and graduating helps you to determine what you want to do with your life once you are on your own. 

The second agreement you make with yourself is, don’t take anything personally. To take something personally is another way of being selfish and how they describe this in the book is of personal importance. This agreement also describes how what others do and say is on them and has nothing to do with you: “What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds.” When wanting to better yourself with this agreement, it is best to acknowledge who you surround yourself with and what environment you are in.

This second agreement has a big impact on my and everyone else’s lives. It allows you to worry about yourself and not others and to realize that what others say doesn’t matter. 

The third agreement you make with yourself is don’t make assumptions. Assumptions are the source of self-suffering. When creating assumptions you trick your mind into thinking they are right and create drama within those assumptions that lead to suffering at the end that wasn’t necessary at all. The book describes assumptions: “All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.” 

After reading about the third agreement it got me thinking a lot. It relates to everyone in many different ways and by avoiding this you can learn to better yourself and the people around you. 

The fourth and final agreement you make with yourself is always do your best. When doing your best you need to keep in mind that your best is different every day and that it all depends on your state of mind, feelings, and physical health. Many believe they are doing their best but they only do until they get a reward for it.

Doing your best you are going to live your life intensely. ”

— Quote from the book

The fourth and final agreement I read about was the most impactful on my own life and all other teens. Always trying your best creates a foundation for all the other amendments and allows you to think positively and better your life and everyone around you.