Recently I was cleaning out my room in preparation for college, going through all of the papers, drawings, and cards that I have collected over the course of my life. Going through my bin of stuffed animals and finding the hippo that I used to sleep with every night before I went to bed, or the paper that I wrote about my stepdad in 7th grade. All of the memories came flooding back, and I found myself crying on my bed, thinking of how bittersweet the moment is of my childhood ending as I prepared to move out for the first time. I would like to share some of my favorite memories that I hold in my room before they get thrown away as I start fresh in a new city.

Up first on the list is a box that I made for myself to open when I graduate. The box has been sitting in my closet since 6th grade when I made it. Inside the box was my favorite stuffed animal at the time, a picture of my 6th-grade self, and I note that I had written to my future graduating self. The note was letting me know that my 6th-grade self was rooting for me, and although I didn’t get into Stanford as she had hoped, I still got accepted into my dream school.

Up second on the list is my 7th grade final English project. For the project, we had to write a 5-page memoir about someone who has changed our life. The project included poems and our favorite traits and memories with our loved ones. At the end of writing it, we were supposed to give it to our loved ones to read, but I never ended up giving it to my stepdad. Now, I get a good laugh out of my 7th-grade self’s attempt at using big words, (who gave her access to a thesaurus?) and a good cry out of all the memories that were put into the memoir. I wrote it for my stepdad when he had cancer, and my 12-year-old self thought he was going to die. Since then I have forgotten about those hard times but reading the memoir resurfaced all of the memories of going to the hospital and trying not to let my peers see me cry in school. Maybe I’ll give him the memoir someday, maybe I’ll give it to him before I leave for college, or maybe I’ll just save it for myself.

Up third on the docket is the diary I kept during my freshman and sophomore years of high school. It was interesting to look back and see all of the rants I put in my diary at the time, and really reflect on how much I have changed over the years. I am grateful for all of those hard times that shaped me into the person that I am today. I would tell my younger self to just focus on being happy, and don’t be afraid to drop those people who don’t make you feel good about yourself, because you will never get back these times again.

The last thing that I found while cleaning out my room for college was a box filled with all of the cards I have received from friends and family over the years from various birthdays and holidays. It was very sentimental going through all of the notes that were written in the cards, especially the ones sent from my grandma who always wrote something special in my birthday card every year.

While looking back on all of these memories, some songs came into my mind as well.

This song makes me think about how much my life is going to change in the next coming years and how I am going to change so much as a person as well.

This song reminds me of how I am leaving behind all of my childhood friends and we will never be as close as we are right now.

This song reminds me of the beginning of senior year, and also the beginning of high school and how I only have a week left of my high school career.

This song reminds me of the end of Cruel Intentions, when Reese Witherspoon throws all the papers out of her car and they graduate high school. This song makes me look forward to graduation but also feel the bittersweetness (pun intended) of high school officially ending.

This song was shown to me by my best friend during the summer of my sophomore year of high school. I have so many good memories of car rides with her and driving around town listening to this song with the windows down and wind breezing through my hair. This song makes me feel the bittersweetness that those long drives with her, and my other friends, is coming to an end.

This song is another classic, epitomizing the feelings that linger on once the time has past. Also being featured in so many coming of age movies this song really makes me feel excited to have these last moments of hanging out with friends and going to parties in the next couple months before I officially move on.

After going through my room and listening to my nostalgia playlist, I feel as though I can keep living in the past, present, and future all at once. With so many memories that I have had, so many happening right now, and so many yet to be had in college and after I feel so excited for what life has in store for me in this next chapter.