When you are little, you typically jump off the couch, climbing on things you aren’t supposed to, or “bouncing off the walls” as parents usually say. Me in particular, I was all of that. At two years old, my parents immediately knew they needed to put me in gymnastics.
At the age of two, I joined North Crest Gymnastics and was in that program until the age of five before moving to Sartell. Looking back at it now, I don’t remember much as a little kid being in that gym, but seeing the pictures and videos my family got of me, it seemed like I had the time of my life.
At five years old, my mom let me decide whether I wanted to do dance or gymnastics since we were moving to Sartell where I wouldn’t be doing North Crest anymore. I was sad to leave, but at that age, I got over it pretty quickly. Within two seconds of my mom asking me, I said gymnastics loud and clear.
Kindergarten started and all I thought about was gymnastics and how much I wanted to be in the gym. Shortly after school started, I joined the program, Sartell Sapphires. I never was nervous to go there, because I just wanted to get my “wiggles” out as my family said. I started in Juniors which is typically where all the little girls start, and I met some great friends which I have kept up to this day.
Towards the end of my 7th grade year, COVID happened. Eighth-grade year then came around, and it was the peak of it. Everyone had to wear masks 24/7. Words cannot express the feeling of practicing with a mask on and having to try to social distance yourself from your teammates in a gym that felt so tiny. All our meets got canceled due to COVID being so contagious and that it was spreading so fast. Knowing I didn’t get a typical last year as most people got was super hard for me, but I learned to understand it as time went on. I knew from that moment that my career wasn’t done just yet.
The summer before my freshman year was here. Everything was going amazing, until I fractured my foot one practice, leading me to be in a boot for four weeks. I was so disappointed, but hopeful since we still had a few months until the season started. Fall off-season came around, and I was so happy to be able to do gymnastics again. On one of the last practices, about two weeks before the season started, I fractured my foot… again. I didn’t understand. My brain didn’t comprehend why this was happening to me. I was feeling so many emotions in that moment. I then made the hard decision of taking my first year of high school gymnastics off. It was hard watching my friends compete and do what I love most but taking that year off helped me tremendously mentally and physically. During that time, I went to a nearby gym to do some conditioning and to work on my strength on each event to come back stronger for the next season to come. On the mental side, I was taking more time for myself, because as high school was starting, things began to happen to me. I was falling behind in school, stress and anxiety levels were rising, friendships weren’t working, etc. At this point, I was nervous, because for the first time, I wasn’t feeling excited about the sport I loved so much and that broke me.
As the year off was coming to an end, I was getting better, and I still had a part of me wanting to come back to gymnastics.
In May of 2022, the summer before my sophomore year, I got an email from my head coach with a link to sign up for summer off-season practices for high school. Seeing that email made my eyes water because I was so happy. They wanted me back. All that sadness, anxiousness, and doubt I felt previously, was gone.
Being back in the gym I had grown up in, had me feeling many emotions, but overall I was truly so happy to be back. Our first practice started. It didn’t even feel real. Warm-ups were starting, everything was going so amazing. We get to the one section in our warm-up where we do our backhandsprings. This skill for me was a skill I got so early in my career so I thought nothing of it. When it was my turn to go, I fell on it. I tried again, fell. A skill that was so easy for me, I lost. I was embarrassed because everyone was perfect. I kept going through the rest of the warm-up, and then practice. At that moment, I knew that I needed to work ten times harder to get where I was back in eighth grade. My sophomore year wasn’t as I hoped, because I thought it would have been way easier to come back from back-to-back injuries… spoiler it wasn’t.
Junior year was just around the corner. Physically, I was doing way better than the previous years which was a huge relief. Coming into this season, I felt more relaxed and I felt more comfortable regarding where my skill level was at and how to know when to stop when something was hurting, rather than ignoring it. About four weeks into the season, I started to struggle again. I remember that as one of my darkest moments. Dealing with anxiety and gymnastics at the same time was a whole different battle, but I overcame it as much as it was a struggle at times.
At our Central Lakes Conference meet, I competed both varsity floor and beam as those were my “specialty events” in both my junior and senior years. I remember getting ready for my floor routine, I was nervous but excited to have been given the opportunity to compete at such a high level and a high-stakes meet. I get into my starting position, the music turns on, and I start my routine. I get ready to go for my first pass. I’m running, bounce into my flyspring, into my front tuck, and then something feels wrong. I came out too early which caused me to hyperextended both my knees. It felt like both my legs snapped in half. Everything went silent. I couldn’t see from the tears and fear in my eyes. After that moment on, I still to this day don’t remember what I did after that traumatizing fall, but what I do remember is I finished my routine. It took so much mental strength to pick myself up and finish it. Everyone was in shock. Some in tears, some screaming, and some in utter disbelief.
By the grace of God, I came out with very bruised bones and sore knees, but nothing was torn.
There was one more week of the season, so I pushed through the mental blocks that were incredibly hard to get past, but I competed at sections and did it for my team. Our team got second place and a season-high score to add on. I got my first MSHSL medal which was huge.
Now, this year. My senior year. I wanted this year specifically to have a meaning behind it. I wanted to leave my mark on the team and make it the best season ever knowing it was my last year. As the season was going on, I continued to strive to get new skills, and higher scores and to make the most out of every practice and meet.
The night before senior night, I just remember being in tears due to knowing my career was almost done and that was so sad to think about. Senior night was so special on many levels. It wasn’t my best meet mentally, but I was just trying to soak in every moment I had. We got into championship season, and it was time to crack down on technique on skills and focus more on routines. To be a part of the championship lineup was big for me, and I was excited to continue for those two more weeks.
We got to our conference meet in Detroit Lakes, and I began to start getting anxious because it was exactly a year since I had my terrifying fall on the floor and I was competing on floor again this time too. I had to remember to just breathe and to think good thoughts. The meet started and after two of our events, we got to floor. I was up first and ready. My floor music started, and I started my routine. I landed my first pass and continue. I started running for my second pass, the one that I fell on at the previous conference meet, and I fell. I finished my routine, but it was hard to come to the fact that I fell on that pass two years in a row. Knowing that was my last ever floor routine truly broke my heart.
A week later, we went to sections. I am ready for the most important meet of the year. We begin warming up and start getting through each event. We got to beam which was our last event to warm up. I get on the beam, do a few skills, get off, and let the rest of the girls go. We had about four minutes left on the clock and I got up to do my jump on the beam. I did it like I always do, and in that split second of me landing back on the beam, my foot slipped, causing me to fly up in the air and landing completely on my head on the floor.
In that split second from being in the air to hitting the ground, I froze. I just laid there on the ground and didn’t move. When thinking about it, I don’t remember hitting the ground, but I remember getting myself up after a couple of seconds and feeling weird. Knowing I have a very high pain tolerance, I laughed it off like nothing happened. I eventually had a headache and some dizziness, but I thought it was nothing major.
The meet started. We started on floor, then went to vault, bars, and then beam. We got a three-minute touch before every event, so I started to get prepared for that. I had an amazing touch so I began to feel more confident with my skills and routine. It got to be my turn to compete on beam. I saluted to the judge, took a deep breath, and started my routine. My jump was early in my routine, so I mentally prepared myself for that. I got ready for my jump, took a deep breath, and jumped. I fell. I fell and tried so hard to stay on. I finished my routine, with a huge smile on my face, but deep inside I was heartbroken, upset, sad, all the emotions. Falling on my last beam routine ever has to be one of the worst feelings.
I ended up having a concussion and some very sore neck muscles which I wasn’t shocked about, but proud that I finished as strong as I could.
We got second place with a 142.1 overall score which was huge for us and I also got my second MSHSL medal along with it.
Gymnastics has shaped me into who I am today, and I will never forget the memories I made through it. I am beyond thankful for this sport and what it has taught me. If I had to take anything out of this sport, it would be the mental and physical toughness I have gained and how much I have grown as a person. Until the next time, gymnastics.
