I’ve been in therapy since freshman year. I was fourteen, and it was my first year in high school. During the first quarter, I had pretty good grades until I started to get overwhelmed. It went downhill from there. I started having constant stress about my grades. Unfortunately, I’m not the only student to experience this.
For decades, schools have placed grades at the center of the educational experience. From glowing “A+” stickers on assignments to the pressure of college admissions requiring near-perfect GPAs, students are conditioned to equate their self-worth with their academic performance. While grades can serve as a measure of progress, the overemphasis on numbers has created an environment where stress, burnout, and anxiety thrive, and true learning is often overlooked.
Grades have come up in conversations with my friends countless times, and unfortunately, we all have different versions of the same story. In my case, my parents accidentally convinced me that anything less than a B+ was the end of the world, and it meant I wasn’t trying hard enough. The pressure they put on me got so bad, that every time I had to take a test I worried so much about the consequences of failing, that I would stop myself from studying.
Imagine being a teenager in that position, navigating assignments, after-school activities, relationships, and work, all while feeling the weight of expectations. Most of us know this feeling all too well. We are forced to juggle the pressures of academic success while trying to figure out ourselves.
In today’s education system, grades are often seen as the ultimate goal rather than a byproduct of learning. This shift has profound consequences for students’ mental health. This pressure is compounded by the fear of failure, which can lead to perfectionism and a sense of inadequacy when students don’t meet expectations.
For many, the relentless pursuit of high grades comes at a steep cost. Extracurricular activities, hobbies, and social connections are often sacrificed to cram for tests or complete extra credit assignments. Even worse, some students resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as cheating, sleep deprivation, or neglecting their physical health, in their quest for academic success. Some of the most common side effects are depression, anxiety, insomnia, and burnout. Studies show that students can also develop feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Many teens internalize the belief that their worth is tied to their academic achievements.
Some argue that parental pressure is necessary to motivate teenagers to excel academically. While it is true that a light amount of pressure can be motivating, overbearing pressure can have the opposite effect. Students with involved parents are likely to have higher grades/test scores, attend school regularly, have better social skills, and adapt well to rigorous schooling. Although this is true, it is important to recognize the difference between support and unrealistic expectations. Parents need to acknowledge that success is not only determined by academic achievements. Teens need to be encouraged to pursue their passions and interests beyond traditional academic expectations to thrive.
While it might be the easiest to solve, parents aren’t the only cause of pressure that could be fixed. When talking about school-related mental health, we also need to examine the school system. Teenagers are experiencing an unparalleled mental health crisis. According to the data from the CDC, more than 1 in 3 high school students dealt with poor mental health during the recent pandemic. Almost half of students felt hopeless, while about two-thirds of these teenagers had difficulty completing schoolwork. It was also found that at least 80% of students who need help aren’t receiving it.
Learning vs. Memorization
The fixation on grades also warps the goal of education. Instead of cultivating curiosity, creativity, and critical thinking, the current system incentivizes memorization and regurgitation. Students frequently prioritize short-term knowledge retention to ace exams, only to forget the material soon after. This approach leaves them ill-prepared to tackle real-world challenges, where problem-solving and adaptability are more valuable than rote knowledge. Moreover, an overemphasis on grades can discourage students from taking risks. Fearful of failure, many shy away from challenging subjects or creative projects that might lower their GPA. As a result, education becomes less about exploration and more about playing it safe.
Redefining Success
To address this issue, schools, parents, and policymakers must rethink what success means in education. Grades should be only one part of a larger conversation about student growth and achievement.
According to kvc.org, research shows that too much academic pressure from parents can lead to decreased well-being and anxiety or depression. Students who have academic stress tend to do more poorly in school. When parents think that by being hard on their kids they are helping them improve their grades, they are doing more harm than good. Instead of punishing their children for doing poorly on a test, they should provide open communication, and talk to their kids about why they did poorly. Parents can also offer support, if needed, and provide their student with academic or mental support. Rather than punishing them for something they can’t change, improve the situation before they take another test. My relationship with my dad has significantly improved after he began to understand that I am trying. The last time I did poorly on a test, instead of getting mad he offered to get me a tutor.
Here are a few strategies to redefine success in schools:
- Shift the Focus to Mastery: Schools can adopt a mastery-based learning approach, where students are evaluated on their ability to understand and apply concepts rather than their performance on a single test or assignment.
- Promote Holistic Assessments: Instead of relying solely on grades, schools could incorporate alternative methods like portfolios, peer reviews, and self-reflections that showcase a student’s progress and skills over time.
- Teach Resilience: Students need to learn that failure is a natural and valuable part of the learning process. Schools should create environments where mistakes are seen as opportunities for growth rather than as marks of inadequacy.
- Support Mental Health: Providing access to counselors and mental health resources can help students cope with academic pressures. Schools should also prioritize work-life balance by setting realistic homework policies and encouraging downtime.
- Celebrate Diverse Strengths: Success isn’t limited to academics. Schools should celebrate achievements in art, music, sports, community service, and other areas that allow students to shine.
The Bigger Picture
Ultimately, education should prepare students for life, not just for tests. By reducing the obsession with grades and broadening the definition of success, schools can nurture students who are not only knowledgeable but also resilient, curious, and capable of contributing meaningfully to the world.
It’s time to ask Are we raising students to chase grades or are we inspiring them to love learning? The answer could shape the future of education and the future of our society.
